Regarding Submissions:
What NOT to do

I'm including this information, because some folks are complete idiots and need a dose of reality about what De'Pressed Int'l is. (Hint: This puny little e-zine is NOT published by some wealthy multi-media conglomerate, in case you were wondering.)

If you don't want to piss me off (remember, I'm the one and only employee and boss of this here establishment), don't do what the moron below did.

Dear Victoria:

Upon the suggestion of another editor, I made a submission of poetry to your journal on April 29, 1997. More than a year later I received Issue # 9 of your magazine in which two of my poems, "Last Night" and "Your Moon Hung Low," were excerpted. This publication of my work was completely unauthorized. You never communicated a desire to use my work, and therefore, did not negotiate rights or payment.

I strongly caution you to refer to publishing and copyright law, and to abide by its tenets. Your use of my work was unauthorized by me, the author, owner of the works copyrights. You have violated copyright law. You must cease all further use of my work in any form: print, performance, Internet, and any other way you may wish to use it. If you continue to violate my copyright, I will take action against you and your magazine for use of my work in Issue #9 of De'Pressed Int l, and in all future violations.

I have not consented, and do not now consent to your publication of my work.

Sincerely,
Nicole L. Reid

Hey, Nikki!

First of all, get a fucking grip on reality. Who do you think you're dealing with? In case you hadn't noticed, this ain't Harper-Collins mega-publishing company! I am just a low-budget chick trying to create a vibe through a few photocopied sheets of typing paper stapled together!!

I don't "negotiate" publishing or payment for anybody's work! (The person who sent you shoulda told ya. As well, YOU shoulda requested a sample copy and submission guidelines your damn self to find out how I operate! What kind of "professional" sends his or her work off into oblivion?!!)

Secondly, get over yourself!! I've never even heard of you before and you're getting snippy about me giving your work a chance to be seen. Who the fuck do you think you are?! This is the underground press, Sweetie, which means the only way to GET a name is to let your stuff get published as often as possible. As long as your name accompanies your work, what difference does it make where and when it's published?! I didn't change any of your words in these fucking poems, so what's your beef? (In fact, keep in mind that one of the main reasons I excerpted them was because they were not strong enough as a whole to waste my precious space on! I was trying to be nice by sifting through them to find the one or two decent lines worth printing! See what I get for trying to be nice to free press amateurs?!)

Third, you're stupid to think that threatening to sue me (for trying to make a star outta your sorry ass) was gonna scare me. Read my lips: I HAVE NO MONEY! What would you get? Control of my grand publishing empire?! Stupid bitch! And even if you did happen to win against me in court (spending time and money that you could probably best spend elsewhere—like trying to write better poetry!), I wouldn't stop publishing.

People like you are only a roach under my shoe. I'd be back publishing—under a different name maybe—the next fucking day! Plus, then I'd really have something to write about—how stupid people like you are!!

And to think you spent over $3.00 to send me a certified letter to tell me all these nasty things. I can tell you don't have much of a life. (Maybe that's why your poetry sucks!) So, what have you accomplished here?! You've only served to piss me off!!

Take my advice: The next time somebody tries to publish your work—work that YOU sent unsolicited, mind you—shut the fuck up and be happy it saw the light of day.

- Victoria

-P.S.- I will be publishing your letter, as well as my reply, whether you like it or not!!