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Victoria (7/14/00) |
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6X Sounds like a teeny bopper group. It's a Japanese import with
a chick lead vocalist. She's pretty decent for the type of music
that they're cranking out. [B] 
Abuse Ment Park The tracks start off with a hearty movie sample of conversation
and devolve into big, hard, rock songs. Again, nothing even remotely
interesting or new happening here. Cheap and cheesy hardcore
lyrics; typical guitar riffs; ho hum vocal melodies. (Now I see
why folks are going absolutely ga ga over Ani DiFranco!) [F] Ani DiFranco Okay, I can't tell you how long I've waited to hear this album! All I keep hearing about is the great, wonderful, absolutely stupendous (and gay) Ani, so I'm on the front row, waiting to be wowed. Here it is, I pop in the disc and . . . . The title track "To the Teeth" starts up. And keeps starting up, seeing as it never really seems to kick in. And stupid little me has waited around a whole four minutes and forty seconds before I realize that there will be no chorus and/or memorable melody. Yeah, I'm hearing plenty of self-righteous political posturing, but not an ounce of musicality yet! Hey, hey, hey!, I say. This chick is supposed to be the bomb, so I've got to give her another chance to impress me, right? The second sound fires up, only it sounds like part 2 of the first fucking song! What gives?! Oh, I guess it is. ‘Turns out, "To the Teeth" is a seven minute and just shy of forty second song. Yuk. I don't dig overly long songs. Okay, so song 2 has officially started now. Not impressed. Track 3 "Wish I May," however, shows the kinda promising combination of whimsy, bravado and hookiness that I live for. Yeah, and it's got a really cool sounding keyboard riff in it, too. So, thumbs up for that one. It's after this that the album seems to turn to a Carribean coastline or something; both "Freakshow" and "Going Once" are the result. Pretty cool. ("Going Once" has some really cool horn parts pulsing through it.) "Hello Birmingham" is a particularly pretty, understated ballad about civil politics. Her vocalizing doesn't do much for me, but the pretty little hook can sustain it, so . . . "Swing" was cool, but "Carry You Around" is for the birds. Too shapeless a song with too meandering a vocal line. (Sounds like something that Prince would love.) "Cloud Blood" and "The Arrivals Gate" were pretty cool, too. It's funny, because Prince sounds like D'Angelo on "Providence." Isn't that strange? The song pretty much sucks, though. Why they've chosen from her trash pile for a guest artist appearance is beyond me, but it seems pretty evident that they did. Then it's well over five minutes long; yuk! –I've figured it out; her vocals sound like a seventy year old woman's, which throws me off continually. I guess, I'm a little too used to that little girl squeal that many female earthbound independent artists have. I mean, yeah, she's cute enough, but that cuteness doesn't translate into this great musical ability, especially since her vocals pretty much suck. She sounds like she's chanting all the time and can't quite give herself permission to let the melody carry her past her often self-righteous lyrics. But, I guess, the fact that she's even TRYING to be original is worth quite a chunk of praise in itself. Let me put it this way; several of her songs have mucho potential, but she's not the one to perform them (and maybe not even the one to produce them). Yeah, in one way, I can see why everyone's so excited about a chick with balls enough to try to be an artist who doesn't have quite the talent to pull it off, but I can't see shouting from the high heels about this album. [B+] back to top Avail Shout and roll. Hard, indiscernible guitars line the litterbox
beneath the shouting. I still can't believe that record companies
pay folks to make this kinda shit. Oh, well. [F] 
The Bottle Rockets I thought I'd heard something about these guys . . . . I just
can't remember what they were supposed to have done. I'm 3 tracks
in and all I hear is a lot of country sounding tunes. Don't get
me wrong; I don't have anything against country, but I don't
have anything for it either. "Coffee Monkey" was pretty
entertaining, but I wouldn't ride down the street bumping to
it, though. [C] Bourgeoisie Paper Jam (check out these cool-ass soundclips!) back to top Colleen Coadic & The Next Twelve
CD Homegirl has had a serious makeover!! The last time I heard
her, I thought she had some potential, but needed a lot of work.
Well, she's done a lot of work and it shows. She looks good and
sounds good. Her songs have hooks, rhythm and her vocals are
melodic (ala Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians). She's even
got some cool-ass, funky guitar work on the second track. (There's
no track listing, so I'm not sure of the songs' names.) If I
had to guess, this track is probably called "My Adoring
Glance." It's cool. In fact, so far, everything about her
is cool. I'm left scratching my head and asking if she read my
mind or something, ‘cause she changed in all the right spots.
[A] 
Cree Summer (see feature
review) Cutters A danceable, guitar and electronica band with some hooky,
but still heavy duty melodies. Decent vocals ala Vertical Horizon.
The first two tracks have been nice and tight, and hooky enough
to even dance to. I'm digging the third song—the ballad
"Freedom Runs"—it's ethereal, like a bad Duran
Duran song. I'll forgive them this, though, since they started
the album off so good. After listening to a few more tracks,
I realize that they're a decent band with decent vocals and decent
songs—and, in fact, I even like them better than Squeeze—however,
there isn't enough pain there for me to truly get off on them.
[C+] Dance Hall Crashers A ton of songs that sound like fifties music on hyperdrive. Two female lead vocals and power guitars (ala No Doubt). The sound is actually pretty good for a live record; it's just that every song sounds suspiciously like the one before it. So, if you're like me and can only take but so much "Rock Around the Clock" revamped, you'll quickly tire on this one. [C] back to top Daryl Henderson-Tousana A cool mix of techno and jazz samples. Interesting enough
to listen to and still hip enough to dance to. Highly recommended.
[A] 
David Bowie I keep hearing what sounds like U2's "The Fly" guitar
riff as the backbone of these pretty lackluster songs, all the
while Bowie does his attempt at singing on top. I keep flashing
back to my vision of him as this genius songwriting dude ("China
Girl," "Modern Love," "Major Tom"),
but what I keep hearing is some old dude with a squiggly, weak
voice singing over some really weak songs. In fact, I'm over
half-way through the album and I've heard a gem yet. So, far
the best song I've found is "The Pretty Things Are Going
To Hell." It's got solid, witty lyrics, his vocals fit AND
it's got hooky guitar riffs throughout, which complement the
singsong chorus nicely. I give that song an A+. "New Angels
of Promise" is pretty good too, with its flutey keyboard
melodic and omenous sound. "Brilliant Adventure" is
also pretty good. It's an instrumental, Arabian nights kinda
tune that is short and sweet and works really well to give the
album the depth that it lacked from the outset. A guess when
you consider the last few songs, the album ain't too bad. back to top 
Delirious? I just knew by their album cover (and their song titles) that
they were going to be an electronica-grounded group. Not so.
Instead, their style is very thoughtful and reflective and brooding
(kinda like U2 meets Third Eye Blind). "Heaven" is
a cool track with a hyped verse and a electronic, yet pop-hooky,
moody chorus. I'm digging it. (It's the kinda track I was looking
for on The Watchmen album, but didn't find.) The other two tracks
that I dug on the disc were "Bliss" and "Love
Falls Down." The rest of the album, though, seemed like
filler—and that's okay, because at least there were a few
good solid songs on their to start with. In general, good disc.
[B] The Deluxtone Rockets CD New-school swing. A little more swing-a-billy than I'm used
to, but it was a lot of fun. The thing that made the experience
for me was the fact that these guys sound totally convinced about
what they're doing. Listening to this album made me think about
what these hep cats would sound like live. They put out a big,
brassy sound, laced together with ritzy guitar licks and snappy
vocals that makes you think of zoot suits, fedoras, crisp vodka
martinis and dance floors. [B] - NP 
Groundswell A Third Eye Blind kinda deal. Oh, yeah, and those folks that
do "Closing Time." (The first track "Corrode"
has that beat and feel.) One of the dudes is formerly of Ned's
Atomic Dustbin—if that means anything to you fine readers.
The vocalist sounds very British. Yeah, he hits a few bold notes
from time to time, but, so far, it's not worth shutting off the
player for. Cool enough. [C+] Guided By Voices Produced by Ric Ocasek. I guess I can hear that. It's in the keyboard sound. Vocals sound like the Foo Fighters. Not impressed by the songs. Well, except "Hold On Hope." It's one of those heartfelt ballad-type thingies that normally doesn't get me, but this time, it did. It's even got those heroic-sounding strings in it! Cool. And I guess their song titles are pretty cool. Stuff like "Zoo Pie" and "Surgical Focus" and "Mushroom Art." But often the singing sucks big time and reminds me why I didn't like the album at the onset. [D] back to top 
Hellchild Death metal to go. Sorry folks, but it's got to go! (I hate
this kinda shit!!) (F) Huntingtons "File under Ramones"? I'll do just that. Never thought I would see a band make a whole album of covers by one band…. They carry it off well, though. A couple of times I had to remind myself that these were covers and not the real thing. Sure, I've been drinking all day, but that's beside the point. Anyway, the Huntingtons did a good job. Not only did they get all the notes right, but they captured the Ramones' energy. The album isn't just a collection of covers. It feels more like a tribute album. They're saying "thanks" to their heroes; the Mighty Ramones. I gotta respect them for that, even though I was a little disappointed that they didn't do anything new with the music or vocal styles. They did the Ramones justice, but I couldn't hear any of the Huntingtons in it. Still, if these guys do a Sex Pistols cover album, I'll buy
it. [B] (for delivery); [D] (for originality) - NP Ian Brennan Very original looking packaging. Guitar-based, brooding songs.
Not really the kind of thing that I'm in the mood for now. The
dude is a psychiatric counselor, so maybe that explains the sadness.
It's nothing that drives me from the building, but, at the same
time, I haven't found anything to treasure. [C-] Lower East Side Stitches They're punk rockers who sing with an "acquired" British accent. Nothing surprising here; not as bad as some I've heard, but not the best either. I didn't like punk before and thanks to this record, I still don't like it now. [D] back to top Mad Caddies (www.madcaddies.com) Can you say Mighty Mighty Bosstones? Yeah, but this group
seems to have done the whole ska thing in a way that I can stomach
it. I think it's ‘cause the vocals are a bit harder and
the songs a bit more show-tuney. (Is that a word?) So, maybe
it's more Squirrel Nut Zippers-esque. The lead vocalist is killing
it—I mean that in a good way. He's powerful and tonal and
seems to be enjoying himself, especially on "Nobody Wins
at the Laundromat," where he's screaming his head off at
the end. I didn't want to like them, but they've got that something
special that makes me say "Yes, yes, yes!" Besides,
they've got this cool descriptive thingie they do above each
set of song lyrics, where they kinda give you a heads up on what
they were thinking when they wrote the dang blasted things. Cool.
[A-] Malcolm Holcombe Kinda folky, kinda blusey, kinda country, not all that good.
I'm sure Holcombe is very talented and puts everything into his
music, but I just can't dig it. [D] - NP Manic Street Preachers I'm getting a Crowded House kinda vibe from them. They're
supposed to be some political rebel rousing bunch. I get that,
because their lyrics are long and cumbersome—in an effort
to say some really important stuff, I suppose—so much so
that the songs suffer because of it. The riff from this third
song ("You Stole the Sun From My Heart") reminds me
of that old little Michael Jackson song "Ben." The
chorus isn't as cute and melodic, however. These songs are rather
bland, as are the hooks and the vocalist. Sure, it's great that
they're trying to promote their causes, but what they've done
doesn't translate into good shit to listen to. [C] 
Men of Porn I keep waiting for this first fucking song to really kick in! (It's nearly 7 minutes into this disc and I ain't heard a vocal track yet!!) Is the lead singer really that bad that they have to hide him down in the album?! Okay, I've exercising my right to skip forward to the next song and the disc ain't getting no better. I'm not one for noise just for noise's sake, so this one leaves me flat. [F] back to top 
Meshell Ndegeocello I absolutely love the opening track ("Adam")! It's a stringy, instrumental interlude. I must say that her vocal style hasn't changed since her last album; and that was a strike against her. What she had going for her—especially on this album—is that her songs are hookier and prettier too. That means that no matter what vocals she does, I end up digging the tracks. She's still talking about stuff that is heart-wrenching (and that have a confessional sound) and I really dig that, as well. "Faithful" is my jam. The title track "Bitter" is pretty cool, too. The lush, swelling strings and acoustic guitar carry it, while her vocals basically communicate her pain; not so much through her singing ability, but through her lyrics. Neither "May This Be Love," "Sincerity," nor "Loyalty" did anything for me, but "Beautiful" was, well, beautiful. It's a sweet, piano-based piece. "Eve" is an oriental-flavored interlude that worked particularly well for me. "Wasted Time" is a raw-edged, vocally-driven meandering of a song. I could dig it, though. "Grace" is a really cool single-quality track, and one that I go back to when I'm looking to remind myself of this album. Former Prince protégés Wendy and Lisa sat in on this album. That may explain some of the liltiness. Also, the drums are pretty sparse throughout, which only helped add to the smoky atmosphere evoked by the swelling string lines. I'll admit, it took awhile for me to judge this album on its
own merits and not compare it incessantly with her last one,
but now I can see how this one offers its own bit of charm (even
though it generally fits her style like a glove). It has a life
of its own and I'm pretty much digging it in toto. [A] Mickey Strange This tune is a David Bowie re-make. I don't really know the
original worth shit, but from what I can tell, it does sound
like a Bowie song. Nothing to write home about, but nothing to
burn in the square either. I would've wanted to hear what other
songs this guy does, but I only got 2 mixes of the single. Oh,
well. [C] Miraculous Smooth R&B vocalist ala Ginuwine. The lyrics are cliché
and weak, but that's almost a given with this genre lately, I'm
sad to say. However, he did spend time enough on his songs to
have a definable hook—which is way more than I can say for
a lot of R&B offerings nowadays. It seems that he's got a
gospel-flavored message as a foundation for the is album, though.
This struck me as kinda strange, since he's shirtless on the
back of the album. A little paradox? Anyway, the album's very
slow and "nice"—which doesn't do too well with
me—but if Jagged Edge or Ginuwine are your cup of tea, I'd
recommend it. [C+] Mortiis Run! Don't look back, just run as fast as you can! By the way: why can't goth musicians come up with original names like Dave or Steve or Bob? Hasn't the whole death thing been a little overplayed? This CD is so bad I don't know where to start. It's a horrible realization of a melodramatic, keyboard-heavy, epic goth opera that went totally wrong. The music is dreary, lifeless and trite, complete with the cheap, synthetic orchestra and the big kettledrums that you would expect in a soundtrack from a really bad fantasy flick. Throughout this travesty of an album runs the wailing voice of Sarah Jezebel Deva (I'm not making this up; that's her name), who tries to sound like Lisa Gerrard, formerly of Dead can Dance, but ends up sounding more like Pink Floyd's "The Great Gig in the Sky" on Karaoke night. The story for The Stargate is about as original as the film
of the same name. It's about this demigod who makes his own world,
then he raises an army and travels through these stargates to
other worlds and takes them over. [F] (I'm not allowed to go
any deeper than that) - NP Natural Signs The first track "Dragon Dance" is a ethnic and gothic mix of instrumentation and vocal patches. It's like meandering down some long, country pathway that takes you through the Irish countryside, through a Moroccan village and into some dark castle. Dare I say, I'm hooked already. I'm hearing a little Rites of Strings kinda influence (with that flute and guitar thematic thing going), except that there are also lush strings and piano, and God knows what else. The main thing is that although these songs are rather long for my taste (they average well over 5 minutes each), I'm still interested in listening and, in fact, have played "Dragon Dance" through several times. Highly recommended. [A+] back to top 
Nicole 11:11 The package led me to believe it was gonna be a Christina
Aguilera kinda deal or something, but it's not. Former P-Funk
All-Stars vocalist does a Detroit hardcore techno release. With
the limited number of vocals on these tracks, unless she wrote
all the music on the tracks, I'm asking myself how the fuck she
can call this a release of her own! You could pour her vocals
in a cup; that's how few there are on here! I mean, yeah, the
tracks are tight, but give me a break! And, oh my God!, this
white girl is trying to rap on "Wet Wendy." She sounds
really bad. Good thing the track only lasts a little over a minute!
But to my chagrin, she's rapping again on "Funkreation."
The best track so far is the last one, "Stigmata."
It's the only one where he vocals are used to make a killer hook.
(On all the other songs, her vocals are nothing more than a nuisance.)
That means, I gotta mark off for the misleading packaging and
misuse of vocals, but add one for this final track. [C] Be Advised: Tooth & Nail Records is a Christian
Label Ninety Pound Wuss Punk. Still, it's not that bad. Sure, they're talentless,
loud, and obnoxious; but that's exactly the way it's supposed
to be. If you're into that kind of thing, that is. Even though
I personally don't go for this sort of thing, I kept thinking
that these guys must be having a lot of fun playing their music,
and that made it fun to listen to. [C] - NP No Use for a Name "Intelligent punk rock." Isn't there something oxymoronic
about that term?! Here's the deal: they're vocals sound like
pop rock, but there tracks are standard punk fare. They are pretty
hooky, though. They kinda remind me of the Gin Blossoms. And
they're calling this "punk"? Go figure. Decent enough,
so I'll give it a decent mark. [B-] 
PC69 Cool. Eighties-sounding rock ala Scorpions or Ozzy Osbourne. Complete with a real power vocalist, sweet sing-songey power guitar riffs and tons of hall pervading the whole song. I don't know about you, but I'm a sucker for this shit. Long hair and all. Power, high drama choruses and all. Pick any track on this and I can rock out to it. Yeah, it's a formula, but it's one I can live with. So there. [A] back to top 
A Perfect Circle The dude from Tool does his own thing. Sounds like a cleaned-up
Tool. A tool with just a tad more heart. I know, I know. Everyone
BUT me loves Tool.—I just think they sound like a poor man's
Nine Inch Nails is all.—I'm happy to say, I liked A Perfect
Circle better. Maybe it's the influence of these group of musicians
that does it. I don't know. I'm not even sure if I care. All
I can say is the single "Judith" is all that and a
bag of chips. A little gothic, a little hard, a little sing-songey
and decently enough decadent vocals. "The Hollow" was
cool, too. "Orestes" was better, though. It sounds
like a strange incarnation of Depeche Mode and Tool, which is
a pretty nice twist if you ask me. It's even got some Sting-type
vocal patterning happening, too. Kewl. Several of the others
can wear on you, though, as the sound doesn't change that much
between tracks. Don't get me wrong; it's a nice style, but too
much of anyfuckingthing can wear a chick out. That's why I chalk
it up to a mood album, meaning that if you're in the mood for
them, they can ring your bell nicely. [A-] The Orange Spot Sessions Vol. 2
CD A compilation dealy-bob of pretty awful bands, especially
Natasha From Mars! The music is distorting in my headphones,
her vocals suck and, to think, they come all the way from Australia!
You mean, it takes a worldwide trek to find shitty music?! I
don't think so. I can go to any local club and run up on that.
So far, the only group that was half-way listenable and just
a tad interesting is Table Scraps (with their song "Eddie).
It's actually pretty good. Too bad it's stuck in such a bad collection.
[D] 
Ph Balance CD The longer she sings, but the more I feel like scratching
my fucking eyes out! Or maybe I should find her and scratch HER
fucking eyes out (and her vocal chords, while I'm at it)! She
sounds like a bargain basement Gwen Stefani, singing slow, draggy,
uninspired songs. Yeah, the songs suck on their own, so her vocals
only make it worse. (I still ask myself how groups like this
get a fucking deal?!) [F] Plaid For the most part, I was fairly impressed. When I saw the Nothing label, I thought it would turn into some angry industrial rock thing. Much to my surprise, Plaid (the pattern, or just another way of spelling "played"?) does more of the spacey, electronic music. It's mellow, easy on the ear, and actually pretty good. Sometimes it gets a little irritating, and it could use a more substance throughout, but I guess that's because I gave it my full attention and listened to it all the way through. This album makes for good mix tape material, but doesn't stand very well by itself. I suggest putting it in the multi-disc changer, and play program the first half of the album at a tripped-out cocktail party for people you wanna fuck with. [C] - NP back to top Rhythm Trip Rock ‘n rap. Didn't like it very much. Still, at least
these guys try. [D] -NP The Step Kings Good if you're into loud Gen-X rock. It's loud, driven, steady,
angry, and profane. At times it's punk, at times it's metal,
but it's always up-front and all the way exactly what it is.
[C] - NP 
The Smashing Pumpkins Finally, something I can listen to! I ain't saying that SP
is God's gift to mankind, but it sure is nice to hear a band
with some attention to the artistic visual and sonic aesthetic!!
I would go into more detail, but you already know they're the
bomb, so why should I bother telling you what you already know?!
[A] 
Second Coming CD These guys are from Seattle and it shows. They sound like
Soundgarden mostly and sometimes like Stone Temple Pilots. They're
pretty good; it's just that I've already heard what they have
to offer a zillion times before. Too much of a good thing, I
suppose. [B] Squeeze What can I say? It's quintessential Squeeze. Sometimes too poppy. Sometimes too floaty. No really great vocalizing. Nothing's bad about it, but nothing pushes me inside either. I need to get a little push and pull to get excited about a group. They've never had it and don't earn it with this disc either. [C] back to top Soulmotor CD Soundgarden rip-off. Caught me at a bad time for it, ‘cause
my patience today for warmed- over anything is worn to a hair.
Besides, the vocalist sounds like he's faking big time. Not good.
[D] Three Finger Cowboy These guys sound like the Breeders, only not as energetic.
There is something missing from the music and the vocals that
makes it sound a little shallow. Oh well. It's better than most
of the shit they play on the radio. [D] -NP
Tony Webb (check out the "Desparately
Seeking Dirty Diapers" interview) 
United Loved their CD design. Hated their super-aggressive slam and roll style. Much too hard for me. (F) back to top various artists I hate to be one of those folks who seems to enjoy tripping
back into the past (‘cause I'm totally into what incredible
things can happen in the present), but this CD had quite a few
70's jams on it [like "Neither One of Us (Wants to be the
First to Say Goodbye)" and "Joy to the World"]
plus the movie seems like it's gonna be a real hoot, so, yeah,
I bought the bullshit hook, line and sinker. So sue me! [B] 
Videodrone CD A Nine Inch Nails meets Tool kinda deal. It can wear on a
girl, though the sound itself ain't too bad. I just feel a little
put upon by a formula is all. I don't feel like these are guys
that just got together to channel a muse and this is what they
got. I feel, instead, like they're going out of their way to
imitate whatever's current. Too bad; I guess I'll have to knock
‘em down a grade just for that. [C] 
The Watchmen As their first track ("Stereo") aurally invades my cranium, visions of the group Live flash before me. Or, a more recent example might be Vertical Horizon. This second track ("Any Day Now") reminds me of the Counting Crows. They're produced by the dude that did some REM stuff. I can hear that ("Say Something" particularly has that REM feel). I'm four songs into the disc and I'm just wondering where their killer track is. (You know, Live has "Lightening Crashes" and Vertical Horizon's got "Every You Want," so where is it for The Watchmen?) Okay, the title track ("Silent Radar") is pretty cool. ‘s got a catchy guitar hook for the chorus, but the chorus is not a bang-bang-you're-dead kinda deal, which is what I would've wanted and expected from a song like this. "On My Way" has been my favorite so far; it's emotional, but not too sappy and hooky enough to get by. And the last 3 tracks ("Top of the World," "Come Around," and "Brighter Hell") are pretty decent. ("Brighter Hell" was my favorite of that bunch; it was brooding, but in all the right spaces, plus it's the kind of take on religion that I like.) All and all, a pretty decent album, just not earthshattering or anything. [B] back to top 
Yellow Machinegun Three piece Japanese female death metal. Oh, great. NOTTTTT!
(F) Zunga I'm 3 tracks in and I'm asking myself if this vocalist is
for real. He sounds like he's perpetrating a really bad joke
on vocalizing every time he opens his mouth! And, while I think
humor is a part of their sound/theme, but this is fucking ridiculous!
Did I say that he's perpetrating a truly "bad" joke
on vocalists everywhere! --Okay, I've finally hit up on a decent
song ("Under Your Rug"). It's a heartfelt ballad with
some decent acoustic guitar work. And the vocalist seems to actually
trying to sing. Can you believe it?! However, after listening
to rest of the album, I must conclude that one a fluke. But that
one song was good enough to rate them a heartier score. –I
take that back; "Fartin' Ole Pinto" is decent too.
[C-] All reviews marked NP were done by fellow music lover Nick Porentas. Thanks, Nick! You can assume that the rest of the reviews, though unmarked, were done by little ol' me.
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