Too Fucking De'Pressed:
My Anti-feminist Rant
. . . . This is the only the second time that I've had a professor
that I hated so. I mean, my God! Isn't there anything happening
in the world that is ever worth smiling about? Being genuinely
happy about? Is everything always doom and gloom? And if it is,
why doesn't she do us all a favor and blow her brains out across
the motherfucking floor?! My God!! Even I've never been as continually
depressed as her! In light of her, maybe I should change De'Pressed
Int'l's name to Happiness Int'l!
Goddamn! I've never, in my life, met someone
so fucking unhappy! I mean, even in my unhappiness, there was
this sweet hope in the far distant. For instance, I would love
somebody who probably wouldn't love me, but there was always
the remote possibility that something could come of it—and
sometimes it did. I mean, I see her kinda depression and I want
to her a card for Dr. Kevorkian! She's certainly losing herself
in her depression, so much that her teaching skills suck, I think,
as a result of it. —Or maybe she's always been a fucking
terrible instructor and depression is just an aside!! I don't
know which is the case, but I wish she'd fucking cut it out,
‘cause she's fucking bringing me the fuck down (and that's
really hard to do when I've made up my mind to be happy)!
She's going on and on about the how "system"
and "men who run society" oppress us women. —Well,
she's the one making my little stupid life a fucking hell! It's
clear to me that she's begging for a bad evaluation and by God,
I'm gonna fucking oblige her!
In my five or six years at this university, I've
only run into two professors that I hate so passionately that
I couldn't even muster a hearty "I'm sorry" if I were
to run over them in the street with my motherfucking car!
Goddamn! If this bitch epitomizes what it means
to be a fucking "feminist" (you see, that's the flag
she's waving) then call me a fucking male chauvinist pig!
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Recent TLC
Fantasy
I had this hot homoerotic dream the other night about that
T-Boz chick in TLC. The whole group was performing in this hot,
dark, steamy place. They were doing one of those tightrope-and-swing
kinda circus acts. I was sitting in the front row.
I thought that she might have been making a pass at me, but
you know how the mind plays tricks on you, so I pretended not
to notice. Before I knew it, she had taken her shirt off and
was swinging upside down topless. She had her hands over her
breasts, but that only made me that much hotter. Then, in another
unexpected twist, she swung over to that crazy little arsonist
chick, put her arms around her and kissed her long and deep.
I think the fuel is that sexy top she's wearing
in the "No Scrubs" video. In fact, I'm pretty sure
that that's the culprit.
Needless
to say, I woke up burning big time. Maybe I will try to get concert
tickets if they come to town after all . . . .
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With the Tragedy Comes
the Total Bullshit: Littleton, Colorado
Opening thoughts . . .
I happened to catch a re-run of George Carlin's latest HBO comedy
special. He had some insight on this school shooting thing that
I thought was particularly apropos for the recent turn of events.
He said that kids
have learned to deal with violence at home, so why should they
have a problem dealing with violence at school.
He also said that
when he was in school, if someone had come in and started shooting
up students, the students would be expected to get back to their
arithmetic shortly thereafter. Ha ha!
Not that the school
shooting was not a tragic event and all, but between the media
and these stupid people trying to figure out how to prevent it
from happening again, I'm getting sick of the whole fucking thing!
Solutions to prevention . . .
First of all, why doesn't someone tell those wise asses who suggest
more gun laws to curb prevention that there are already laws
on the books to help prevent something like this: They're called
YOUR-ASS-WILL-GO-TO-JAIL-FOREVER-IF-YOU-ATTEMPT-SHIT-LIKE- THIS!!
What more do you need?
What I'm getting
at is if some fool wants to find a way to kill up a bunch of
folks (and otherwise cause mayhem), a bunch of new fucking laws
won't stop them! Which also answers those other imbeciles who
complain that these kids got info about how to build a pipe bomb
over the Internet. So fucking what?! So, of course, now we should
shut down the Internet, ‘cause some folks want to use it
to fuck up the world?! I counter that info on pipe bomb-making
is probably available at your local library. (Do you think
they'll want to close that down too?!) In the least, I KNOW
that this kinda info is available from independent mailorder
presses. These folks think that if a kid is dead-set on blowing
some shit up that they won't lick a fucking stamp and send off
for a fucking catalog??!!
Insults . . .
Finally, what has pissed me off (and a bunch of my friends too)
is that we keep hearing comments about how it "shouldn't"
have happened at "a place like this" (i.e., at a "nice"
neighborhood school). Where the fuck do you think it should have
happened?! To me, the statement implies that there is someplace
in America where this kind of behavior would be perfectly acceptable.
Speaking for all those, like me, who live in the ghetto, this
sounds like a fucking insult. I don't care where a school is
located, you shouldn't "expect" that shit like this
would happen! I guess, the implication is that only us inner
city savages are capable of such shit!
Well, that's where
those fuckers who say this kind of shit are missing the point.
Those kids needed emotional counseling. They were in crisis.
This kinda shit can happen to anybody—including rich fuckers!
In fact, I would say that maybe rich, White folks are more prone
to it than poor Black folks, since poor Black folks already know
life isn't fair (from the time you're little you know this) and
you learn to cope with injustice early on. Not by shooting people
up—'cause we'd have to shoot up more than just a few jocks—but
by analyzing the situation and by working toward making things
better.
The bottom line
is if these folks don't realize this and continue to think that
only "certain" types of people do this shit, then I
guess it'll keep on happening ‘cause they'll ignore the
signs. Assholes!!
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Back up the Boasting
with Some Balls:
A Message to Gangsta Rappers
Normally, I ain't got shit to say about somebody and their
art, but this new breed of gangsta rapper (as well as a batch
of the old ones) are making me sick! The minute someone criticizes
them, they jump on this "I'm-speaking-for-those-in-the-ghetto"
party line. That I'm-keeping-it-real thing. What the fuck does
this have to do with lyrics about killing folks, selling drugs
and skanky women? I'm not saying that this kinda shit doesn't
happen in the ghetto, but speaking as one who was raised between
two different ghettos (Harlem and Detroit), I can truthfully
say that it's the exception, and not the norm, as they would
have you to believe! Fucking poseurs!
You know I would have tons more respect for them
if they just stood up for their art—especially since their
supposed to be so fucking hard!—and tell anybody who doesn't
like what they rap about to fuck off! To me, that's any artist's
right. But to hide behind that fact that you're doing what you're
doing for some higher purpose (i.e., to let people know what's
happening in the ghetto) is not only chickenshit, it's also a
lie!
First of all, like I mentioned before, it ain't
really happening like that in the ghetto. Secondly, nobody needs
you to tell them what they've already seen in the movies (if
all you're talking about is Blacks being pimps, hos and drug
dealers). And finally, stop being a fucking pussy and stand up
for what you believe in, ‘cause I've already proved you
a liar on all other fronts!! There. That's my rant for all those
hardass gangsta rappers out there!
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