Billow Red

Blood-stained roses

Never occurred to me that I could be perceived as offering anything but
Red wine flow to the punch bowl that day

That would
I should
Or could
Offer to the prima ballerina but a dozen perfectly blood-stained roses

Bleed heart
Where the river ebbs and flows
To and fro
In and out of
The tunnel of love

Can't win for lose
Not great at shmooze
Can only be accused of toot
Myself as the patron saint of Small and Petty
The villa of vomitous billow soot bile
Now only open to bleed heart tourists
Especially nutcrackers

Now all left to offer
Is crack of nutshell
Burn hell
Nevers plays well
With other kind of hand grenade operatives

Though costs extra
And is heavy to carry
Never occurred to me that a life insurance policy
With clauses against disfigurement
Were in order

Asked for blood, sweat, tears
Gave all I had at the office

Like to be
Billow red

Accustom to
Get ass kicked on regular basis
Train pulled out of red station with nowhere to go but
Right through the middle of your head

Thought necessity would change me
But gown still twisted, shoes much too tight
Toes crammed into toe size meant for someone two sizes smaller
Ready to be the train pulled out of red station
With nowhere to go but
Right through the middle of
Your head

Ready to blaze trail
Billow red
Be grit in your sushi
Cause you to vomit repeatedly
Your full
Whole
Entire meal onto the sidewalk

Smile at
The sight

Come undone

Painted into corner
Come out Uzi-equipped
Pocket unzipped

Barrel cocked
Aimed straight at you
Wait to hear you beg
But you're too proud
To even consider
How unfortunate this day could really end for you

All hours have led us here
Emotional baggage packed and ready to unload

Full of shit and days passed
In need of apology
Jam-packed with none
Maybe you should consider
How unfortunate this day could really end for you

Not even
Crazy glue can fix this
Painted into corner
Come out guns cocked
Barrel at your head

Don't know how this will end
But guarantee myself satisfaction
In need of healing
A brand your store refuses to carry

Nose pressed on the glass
Buzz outside
Eat glass
Wait for your shift to end

Perhaps you should consider
How unfortunate this day could really end for you . . . .

Stand and fight

You started this shit
Now get your ass out here and finish it
Messed up my head
Threw me to the ground

I don't want to hear shit about you not wanting to step on anyone's toes
‘Cause that is precisely your mission in life
Don't fucking hide behind the building
When I come to beat your ass at the end of the day
‘Specially when you know you want it this way

So get your ass out here and
Stand up for yourself

I don't necessarily care that it's not a fair fight
I already know you have bricks in your gloves
I just want you to stand right in front of me
Say all that shit while you look me in the eye
That way, when I hit you,
I'll feel entirely justified

You can't push street girls around
And not expect to have your ass chased home after school
Hey, I ain't busy and ain't got nothing better to do than meet you fist to fist
That is, if you'll admit that it was a fight you went looking for from the day we met

Remember, you pushed me first
Messed up my head
Threw me to the ground

So, I'm ready for your shit
Get your ass out here and let's finish it

Burn at stake

Used to read about witch hunts
Didn't think I'd be signing a petition to institute one
About ready to smell the stench of burned flesh now

Read that they have moles on nose
And wear big black pointy hats
And live on hills with dozens of cats

Found that they are just as likely to wave the flag
And read from musty old pages
And understand the lyrics to sixties protest songs

Nevertheless
Are just as likely to cast spells to ruin well cared-for crops
And profess their love for your worth in this world
All the while they do their best to drive you to hell and back

Think there'd be some joy at seeing even a modern-day witch suffer
Guess I'll find out

Forming the witch burn committee now

Blood burn

Skin pricked
Bled on carpet
Sloppy circles
That can't resolve

Don't care much anymore
Don't get out anyway
Ass still firm
Mind still quick

Tend toward mental aerobics
Skip the physical ones
Love sex in high places
Love the way you look at me still

Blood-stained carpet
Ripe for cleanser
Blood burn hole
Expose the whole

Soul investment
Is your piggy bank
Full with the joy of old age
Together
Full of the future
Head-on

Loved growing up with you
Love you still
After all the skin pricks

The parts of the whole

Ego trip
The better part of me
God forbid I unleash the other

After all, selfishness satisfies
Hunger better than any candy bar

Too late to make excuses
I'm happy with who I am
Determined not to craft me into
Who you
Want me to be

Last I heard
That is my prerogative
Last I heard
It's your prerogative to disapprove
Last I heard
I don't really give a shit

Love the hell I raise
When all is said and done
Love that lipstick resolves into
Bitterness that resolves into
Sweetness that is just as racist
As the world I was brought into

You'll get over it
I'll get over it
We'll part company
Never speak again, God willing
And grow into a comfortable understanding

Remember I can't dwell too long on what you think
I'm too busy planning my next ego trip

Toothy blowjob

There is a hole
Where there once was a soul
Whose date did you think I'd be?

Still a charmer
With all my teeth, you know
About ready to blow
Puffs of billowing smoke
Down your throat
Does that turn you on?

You pushed me off this ledge
‘Cause you wanted to see where it'd get you
Are you happy with the results?

I know to cross the street
When I see you coming from now on
May as well not spoil the cat and mouse game
By being too easy to
Catch

Tortured soul
With whips and moles
Haven't you been introduced to all parts of me?

Still give a good blowjob
Even with a few gray hairs, you know

But who would get to be on top?

Whale blubber

Lumpy fat
Pale gray
No special purpose ‘cept soap

Acts as barrier
Keeps troublemakers from taking cuts

Insulates bones from world
Allows no feeling
But coats

Keeps water from brain
Keeps emotions at bay

Ridiculous to find a skinny whale
So whale blubber persists
Life blood of aquatic society

Selfish song

Want what I want when I want it
Gotta have it right now

What's yours is mine
What's mine is mine

Who says I gotta rhyme
This is my selfish song

Can't throw out the baby with the bathwater
Can't wipe up self-absorption with a heavy duty, cushion-quilted paper towel

Have to learn to live in it
And learn from it
And lean on it

No rest for the weary
Take pleasure in making you teary

Want my ate cake
And want to eat yours too
Want it all ways in the ways I choose

Who says I gotta rhyme
Remember, this is my selfish song

Mis-fire

Fired burned out long ago
With still battles to be won

Can never be sure who's on my side
Always checking my back for knife wounds

Turns out you're no different
Jumped at the chance to inflict your brand of pain

Engine grown cold from burn out
Ready for a saint to save me

Starting to think saints don't exist
Anymore

Know you don't care
While I still have to

Not sure what'll be left of me once this grilling is done

Sure that I'll never invest in con men's schemes again

Neat cut

Box-shaped snowflakes
Top the basket
Already filled with loathe
And writhe
Fan the flame of dust
Into eyes
Does not surprise

Cavalry speeds
Horses eager
Burned tombstone
Turns into dove
And flies away

Trim landscape
So that no flower
Survives
Scorn petals
Bathed in light

Stretcher

Stupid little mishap
Squish up nose
High pride
Head in air
Smell nothing
Taste nothing
Mean nothing

Be nothing to no one but yourself

Mistake of the century
Big chest
Outstretched pinky
Tea too hot
Dropped the cup
Made a mess

Too dumb now to clean it up

Multiple vehicle accident
Minor injuries
Bloody hand
Requires bandage
Too dense to notice or care

Ambulance called by witnesses

Why you

Flies in your coffee
Provide that extra little crunch
Burst exoskeletons
Give flavor

Loved the way they taste
Dig having something to gripe about

Hair in your eyes
Provide opportunity for tears
Makes people think
You care enough to cry

Loved the red eyes
Dig giving false impressions

Dental floss in your soup
Provide perfect opportunity to complain
Stringy floating mass
Gives your ranting reason

Loved the attention
Dig having an excuse not to be liked

There's a cure for that, you know

Once heard that the miserable love pain
Which probably explains why they spread like mold
Green and fibrous
Across any smooth fragile survive
Suck the life from the vulnerable
And grow moles as trophies

Once know someone to try to reform
Wasn't easy
Had to lock themselves in their own head
And take a hacksaw to
The snake asleep inside
Had to clean up the sludge
With heavy doses of love and attention from others
Those others that had been mold-covered before

Once saw someone who couldn't bring themselves to change
Bitter and venomous
Crawled inside the wrong person's cave
Made a lot of noise
And prepared for afternoon of inflicted misery
Got hacked to death by flower
Not previously known to be deadly

Goes to show, I guess
That the laws of karma work in mysterious ways

No sense of place

Tripped over a pebble
Which rolled into a stone
Which ran into a rock
Which proclaimed itself a mountain

Had no idea the small and petty
Had that kind of power

Stepped into a puddle
Which curled into a ripple
Which bulged into a pool
Which declared itself a wave

Had no idea that ordinary organisms
Could cause that kind of stir

Walked over a hole
Which opened into ditch
Which ruptured into a canyon
Which ordained itself San Fernando

Had no idea that small punctures
Could create such empty vessels

Cramped disposition

Brown frame
Old photo
Lovely dress
Bitter girl

Long journey
Hail bus
Hole in pocket
Change lost

Seeks solace
Finds none
Heart hurt
Hunger pains

Got screwed over
Round face
Eyes red
Decides on change

Sees store
Buys gun
Smiles broadly
Seeks revenge

Poison pen

Happily heap
Hemlock
Into jellied-filled donut
Stuff Into mouth of month-old myopic

The wound looks angry
Black cat asleep on the bearskin rug
Offer drive to
Undecided Dahmer wanna bes of the world

Drive the virginal to seedy part of
Town and leave for
The locust to swarm
So that the spirits of dead ancestors
Circle above
Having tossed and turned in their graves
To the point of exhaustion

So that you can make room
For next generation of witch blades
To sharpen their switchblades
On the necks of the tender

Drink the blood
Splashed against face
Overboard

Create happy accidents
At critical circle of sun

Coincidence that my wound threatens to swallow me
Precisely as 21st century coven is formed
In metropolitan area?
Most likely part of your plan to
Lure virginal to slaughter
Bones thrown in advance of our meeting
Innocent heart beats to rhythm of ancestral drum

Missed day of fire drill
Did not discover which talisman wards off devils like you
In search of Cliff Notes now

Torque

Grit teeth
Grind
Screw
Spiral down
Into belly of hell
Pit from where you emerged

Rotate rollick
Twist
Tangle
Tie up
Hands turned behind back
Swarm from dark place in your soul

Dismiss the trope
Of purified angel
Too busy casting spells
to expel chant
Club clinched in fist
Knuckles white
Sweat pooling

Swoop down
Gash indiscriminately
Into crowd of happy-go-lucky sunflowers
Justify actions
Through quotes of evil scripture
Arguments that coil back onto themselves
And distort the idea that the sun will ever
Circle around again

Hope for continuous night
So that nothing will grow but mold
And for own comfort

black thong bikini
stuck up my ass
i'm in the middle of
going nowhere now

packed six pairs of panties
and a Freudian slip
for my long-awaited jaunt
from creepy town

sunrise swell
empty run
guilt-free
victuals

blue Danube
here I come

there is a bounty poster
shows my face
growing older through knife attacks

where my heart was
there's just a hole
tired of being trapped
sauteed and swallowed whole

there's never been a silver spoon,
no pot of gems
just remnants left from the time i've sold

needing to rebuild
my jet plane part by part
at the blue Danube is where i'll begin

i need to catch up
to my speeding life
toss aside this doubt that cuts like a blade

constantly struggling
for a feeling of certainty
i look for comfort at the blue Danube

so leave me alone,
will you, chum
while i recharge along the blue Danube

Turning me upside down and shaking me as if that was the best way to get what he wanted from me. It never occurred to him to simply ask what it was that he wanted to know, whatever it was he felt like he needed to know. In fact, maybe to him the entire experience wouldn't be as erotic, as charged as it would be if I was at first thrown off course completely . . . .

Useless parts of piggy bank

So, like a child trying to get into a penny bank that instead of being filled with pennies is filled with quarters, he can see no other way of getting at what he wants without trying to break the large ceramic container.

Not noticing all during this pursuit that the bank has already been designed to grant this kind of access. Not noticing the capped hole at the bottom explicitly meant to achieve this objective. Not realizing that once the jar is broken, it can never be used again. That it can never hide treasures for him. That the mysteriousness of the vessel will be forever gone. That long after the satisfaction of retrieving the money is gone, he will miss having a place to hide things from the world, from himself. A place where he can slowly collect the passionate penny here, the quested quarter there, and rest assured that their collection will only grow more valuable in time. And, in time, for him to realize some dream that only his patient collecting could make possible.

I know that one day he'll realize the consequences of his actions, and will be filled with such great regret that he writes fondly about his once wonderful piggy bank.
But in the meantime, he exercises his right to destroy the repository. Because shaking has only netted him a few quarters, he becomes frustrated and slams it roughly against the floor. "That oughta do it!" he says, gathers the money and runs from the room with a smile on his face, satisfied that he has made the best decision.

. . . . And never once feeling appreciated for helping to make his dreams possible, I lie broken on the floor . . . .

Fully furnished

I fell off the side of the desk
And right into a wad of you
And now I sit alone in my brain waiting . . .

Haunted by your dizzying, swirling charm
Radiating from a candy-centered web

Circling.

I'm swimming in your crushed velvet chamber
The one created in my brain,
Fully furnished with the things I've snatched from you

Like licking licorice, I linger
Hoping the snowflakes will spell my name when they fall on your window

When they waft gently onto your tongue as you bend back to taste the winter full- on

I'm
r - e - a - d - y

Hot under my skin

Hot under my skin
Bubble to the surface

Melt away the sadness
Reveal madness

I still ache for you
Can't seem to shake you

Yet here you are
Bubble to the surface
Hot under my skin

You get on my nerves sometimes
Wait for an opportunity to catch the scent of you

Like you
Make time when there seems none
I begin to peel away your layers and I still find blue

Hot under my skin
Bubble to the surface

A midnight volcano, waiting to erupt

Shock value

I kisssss your lips
And you squirm and we both
Tingle with the sweat
Dripping down our backs
HEAVY like volcanic rock
Ready to drop and break

Your eager tongue
In my waiting mouth
Trembles the moment
You realize
That this passion
Is as intense as a fire
Burning in three-alarm fashion
It's ringing, screaming
Blowing a big fucking hole in the
Middle of my skull

Yeah, you're good

Your fingertips

Have gotten me ssssoooooooooo hot

I can think of nothing better

Than to offer my soul to this deity

Of pleasure that we've created . . . .

Escape artist

slowly slip
creep beneath the space
between the floor and the door

all you left all i have
is the air hanging heavy
in my face
smother me nightly, daily

i gasp
try to remember
how you fill me before

realize
that now there is a void

and not sure

how to entice

pleasant thoughts of you back again

Phone sex

The telephone ringing
Is enough to get me wet
Heavy breather on the line, again
At the payphone up the block, I bet

Telling me where he'll put his hands
And his tongue and his plane
I'm breathing heavy too right now
Hangs up before I catch his name

I swear to God, I don't need a partyline
What I need is more airtime
Phone sex

He fucks with my head
‘Cause I can't get a word in edgewise
You know I need to tell my side
I'm a little freaky and I'm not shy

I want to give him the treatment
Tell him that I'll lick his plane and his toes
But whenever I begin to speak
Click! Off the line he goes

I think this asshole knows I wait by the phone
Hoping he'll give me some time
Ready to finish me up where he leaves off
But, by then, dead air's on the line

I swear to God, I don't need a partyline
What I need is more airtime
Phone sex

like putting on a rubber suit
I stretch the circle of
my life
to include you

and all the heft you bring

enjoy the joy

to make the whole stretch worth it . . .

(For Caleb and Zandalee)